Dear Friends and Family,

Happy news to report! In August, usually a sad month for our family as we acknowledge the passing of our sweet Quincy, a big bundle of happiness entered our lives. We got a black Labrador puppy! With Brody starting high school and Keenan in the 7th grade, the time for a dog was either now or never. Brody had been working us over for several years to get a dog and once his friend e-mailed pictures of his new yellow lab puppy, along with the rest of the litter; we knew it was an opportunity we couldn’t pass up. We noticed a black lab in the photo that looked adorable. Roger grew up in Minnesota with a black lab and knew one would be a perfect fit with the boys. I quietly e-mailed the breeder to see if the puppy was available and the rest is history!

We picked up our “Jersey” girl on a farm in Vacaville, and after completing her shots, we started puppy school. It was clear from the first day that she was a stellar student. She will do anything for a small morsel of food! We joked that she belonged in the “AP” class – advanced puppy. Of course, labs are known for their incredible motivation for food, but at home, without the trainer or an endless supply of puppy treats, all chaos seems to break loose! We are hoping with routine and time, her excitable puppy manners will improve.

Now 7 months old and still crazy, she has been a great addition to our family. Who knew a puppy could cure teenage angst. With Jersey around it is impossible to be in a bad mood. Her overwhelming enthusiasm for life is contagious. She has turned our teenage boys into kinder and more considerate teenage boys. It probably has to do with the fact that they act like her litter mates, but nevertheless she has brought true joy into our lives. For some reason I even call her Quincy without realizing it. The boys usually point this out to me as they roll their eyes and correct me. I guess it is all that unconditional love she gives, just like Quincy.

OK, enough about dogs….Brody started high school this year and is doing well. He is on the freshman basketball team and really enjoys it. We finally got him moved into Quincy’s room after extensive remodeling. With the boys help, we scraped, sanded, washed, primed and painted the room. It took about 6 months to finish, but well worth the effort as he really likes having his own space. Now he is back to lobbying us on having the dog sleep in his room instead of her crate in the dining room. Keenan too, is enjoying his new found space in his previously shared bedroom. He is currently playing on a CYO basketball team coached by Roger. We all still play as much tennis as we can, but I find I need to balance it out with yoga or I have too many aches and pains and advils!

On the foundation front, the Quincy Lee Foundation had been blessed with two extremely generous friends, Abbey Ryan and Estelle Strykers. Abbey, our very talented artist friend who painted our family portrait during our last summer with Quincy, has been painting a picture a day for the past year. She then offers them for sale on ebay. On August 4th, the anniversary of Quincy’s death, she donated the proceeds from the sale of the painting to the Quincy Lee Foundation. Please check out her work at www.abbeyryan.com. She also kindly plans to offer one of her paintings every August 4th in memory of sweet Quincy. Our other friend, Estelle Strykers, the sister of a good friend of mine, lives in New York City and runs marathons when she can squeeze in training in her busy life. She was touched by Quincy’s story and decided to dedicate her next marathon to raising money for the Quincy Lee Foundation. On November 23, Stella completed the Philadelphia Marathon with the goal of raising $100 for every mile. She surpassed her goal and had her best time. See her photo on “The Foundation” website page. Way to go Stella!!!!

My next project for the Foundation is a brochure on the Quincy Lee Foundation that explains our newly focused mission statement and the goal we hope to reach. It was after numerous conversations with the doctors and staff at UCSF that we realized the most efficient use of our resources would be to fund a fellowship at UCSF, as this is the best possible way to achieve Quincy’s wish that “all kids with cancer could be all better”. Our strategy is to target large corporations that have community/ charity boards that we can contact for possible funding. I realize with the economy that this may be difficult, to say the least, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

During the holiday season, we like to take time to pause and reflect on how time has passed. We are truly thankful for all that we have. We look at Quincy’s short life and are grateful for the 6 years we had with her each and every day. I like to think we got even more time with her because of all the nights she shared our bed. Because of her, we so appreciate and love our family and truly cherish our good health, good friends, and good dogs!

We wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season.

Love,

Lisa and Roger

Dear Friends and Family,

We always plan on updating our journal more frequently, but now another full year has passed. For obvious reasons, updating this journal is very difficult. I think each year we keep hoping to reach a new stage in our lives without Quincy or find something very joyous to write about, but that never seems to happen…so we wait. Yet we do have moments of joy in our lives to balance those moments of heart-pounding grief that still invade our hearts, less frequently now, but still there. When those thoughts of missing her come, they come almost with a greater sadness because it has been so long since she has been with us (approaching four years) and still so long until we can be with her again.

Anyway, it only makes sense to open this journal entry with sports. In the Lee family, they have been our saving grace, providing each one of us with fun and normalcy that helped us through Quincy’s illness and death, and continue to provide us with comfortable routines that move us forward. During the summer, we attended the All-Star Baseball game played in San Francisco at AT&T Park where the SF Giants play in regular season. We spent three days in the city and had a great time going to the homerun derby and all-star game. The boys will have great memories from that week from watching all the famous and infamous players of baseball.

Currently, it is basketball season and Roger is coaching both Brody’s 8th grade team and Keenan’s 6th grade team. Roger loves coaching and enjoys watching all the boys on his teams improve throughout the season. His office is still close to home in Walnut Creek which allows him to be very involved with the boys. As a family we all enjoy basketball and root for the Golden State Warriors watching as many games as we can. In the spring, Brody will play tennis and umpire local Little League baseball games like he did last year and Keenan will play his last year of baseball in the Little League Majors.

After the boys started school in August, I finally found some courage, or rather felt it was the right time to start going through some of Quincy’s things. All of her clothing seems so small now when I compare it to the size of her girlfriends who are all approaching age 10. It’s strange but I think of Quincy as the same size and age of her friends. We can’t believe that she will be 10 in March. Looking at each dress and outfit brought a smile to my face, remembering how she would wear each piece and the last time she wore it. She would love to change into a “party” dress if we were going out or over to a friend’s house for dinner. I found I couldn’t just bag her things and put them on the curb for goodwill; I had to find a person or place that would benefit from her things. She had so much stuff, like any child that spends a lot of time in the hospital will have from receiving so many gifts from kind-hearted people trying to make her feel better. Many of her toddler things I brought to a crisis nursery center; her puzzles, games and bikes (the boys too) I gave to schools in Richmond. It felt very good knowing her treasured possessions were needed and would be used. Her clothing was harder to part with and I saved her favorite outfits and items that triggered a happy memory for me. The rest I gave to friends that have little girls. Going through her stuff is still a very slow and draining process, but it does feel good to move forward and I know Quincy would be happy that her things are being enjoyed by other little girls.

This past fall, I’ve spent my time working on the Quincy Lee Foundation. In September, we made up some “bingo bags” filled with toys and brought them in for the children in treatment at UCSF. I also worked with one of Quincy’s wonderful nurses and did some shopping for the pediatric intensive care rooms, in order to make them more comfortable for the patients. In October we filled plastic pumpkins with goodies for the kids and made treats for the staff. All was greatly appreciated by the good people at UCSF. It finally feels comfortable to go back there and the best part is that I am known as “Quincy’s Mom.” I love that title! After Thanksgiving, we had a Holiday fundraising party at the home of a good friend. We had various vendors selling their wares along with our own QLF “nanny-knit” scarves, bookmarks, photo ornaments and cards, and candy. The evening was a big success. I’m not sure what the next fundraiser will be but we are working on several ideas and will keep you posted.

This year also brought us full circle in life. Roger’s father passed away at the end of November. About a year ago he had been diagnosed with lung cancer due to the many years he worked as a plumber with asbestos. He was blessed with 87 wonderful years with the exception of his last six months. He was a very kind and warm-hearted man who was deeply loved by all who knew him. We will really miss him.

“The things that matter most in our lives are not the fantastic or grand. They are the moments when we touch one another, when we are there in the most attentive or caring way.”
-Jack Kornfield

Love,

Lisa and Roger

Dear Friends and Family,

We have tried many times over this past year to update our journal on our life without Quincy. On holidays and each passing season we attempt to write, but our sadness continues and there does not seem to be much to share. The emotional roller coaster of grief that we ride is still in full motion; some days are fine and others are filled with a sorrow that takes our breath away. And that’s OK. We’ve accepted the fact that our lives will never be the same. Elizabeth Edwards explains it best in her book, “Saving Graces” when she speaks of her grief on the loss of her 16 year old son in a car accident. She says, “I cannot express how deeply this boy had grown into my being, and how I will suffer his loss every day that I breathe. I cannot be cured of it, any more than I can be cured of breathing itself.”

Around Quincy’s eighth birthday in March, we started to go through some of her things. Nothing in our house has changed much over the past two years. A large stuffed animal raccoon about the same size as her still sits in the glider rocker next to her bed. It was one of her prized possession that she had won during a bingo game at UCSF. Bingo was always a fun treat for the kids, held once-a-week on Thursdays. During one of her many hospital chemos, she was the grand prize winner of the day. She was so excited to claim “the big raccoon” and hear the host announce “Quincy Lee has the first bingo of the day!” The bingo games were televised over the hospital TV so that the children stuck in their rooms could play and see all the available prizes. It had all the excitement of a TV game show and the best part was that everyone was a winner. Her bedroom is still filled with many of her stuffed animals, toys, clothes, books, dolls, and hand-me-down boy toys that she liked. She hardly had time to play with and use any of them. How do you fit a lifetime into six years? Yet, we would never trade those six years for the world.

The one continuous ray of sunshine in our lives has been our boys. Thankfully, we can truly say they are doing well and keep us moving forward. Brody is in 7th grade and Keenan in 5th. Both are doing well, enjoying their friends, and playing their plethora of sports, along with all their fantasy sports leagues. Hopefully all the energy that goes into their love of sports can be harnessed into a love for school work! In between the boys’ activities, our family has been playing a lot of tennis. The boys and I just started playing this past year. Roger is a very good player but has been sidelined with a knee injury, so it works out in our favor that we get a built-in tennis coach. Graciously, Roger is happy with this role. We have a lot of laughs on the court playing doubles as a family. I’ve even played in several women’s tennis leagues and made some wonderful new friends. I just wish I could learn as quickly as the boys! On Thanksgiving Day we started a new tradition with the “Lee Family Turkey Tennis Bowl”. Whoever pairs with Roger is usually the winner. Brody and I have been playing together and had yet to beat Roger and Keenan. By some stroke of luck that day, we actually won the match. It was a lot of fun and gave us bragging rights later that day when we spent Thanksgiving with friends.

Working on the Quincy Lee Foundation has been keeping me busy. Because Quincy was so excited about learning to read in Kindergarten and treasured reading and writing, it has felt very good to do a new bookmark each year as a fund raiser for the Foundation. In addition, I have also put together a sterling silver butterfly necklace with an amethyst crystal on it that Quincy would have loved. It has been a very creative learning experience for me, which will hopefully turn out to be a good fundraiser for the wonderful people at UCSF.

Thank you for your continued support and love of our family.

Lisa and Roger

Dearest Quincy,

Today is your eighth birthday, and your second birthday in heaven. Oh how we miss you, every moment of every day.

We’re doing our best to follow our family tradition of celebrating your birthday with your favorite meals. Breakfast looks like it will be poppy-seed bagels with cream cheese, lox, capers, red onion, and tomatoes. The boys will probably hold on the lox, capers, red onion and tomatoes. They still need you to teach them what is good in life! Your meal tonight is still under discussion. However, we’ve agreed on strawberry brownie sundaes for dessert, with extra strawberries on the side for our sweet birthday girl.

Life would be so great and so easy if you could still be sitting at the head of our table, with that sparkle in your eye, that infectious laugh and that quick wit that kept Brody and Keenan on their toes. We remember it and we feel it, we just need to see you and touch you and hear you, one more time, again and again and again. We do know though, in a special way, that you are still right here with us.

Our family continues to be blessed with much love and kindness from those near and far. We think your love for each precious day of life helped many people realize what is truly important in their own lives.
We know it has for us.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Love,

Mom, Dad, Brody & Keenan